Trauma Symptoms And Behaviors (For Partners)
Symptoms may include:
Reliving the event Phobias
Intrusive images Depression
Panic attacks Anxiety
Health problems Flashbacks
Inability to eat Immobility
Chronic fatique Nightmares
Mood swings Denial
Behaviors may include:
1. I was constantly thinking and obsessing about the sex addict's behavior and motives.
2. I engaged in insane and strange behaviors?
3. I was preoccupied and forgetful?
4. I had emotional blackouts?
5. I engaged in self-destructive behaviors.
6. I was destructive to others.
7. I changed clothes out of sight of the sex addict.
8. I checked the sex addict's personal mail, purse, briefcase, or other personal belongings for clues.
9. I blamed myself for all of the problems related to the addiction.
10. I believed that if I changed, my partner would stop acting out.
11. I experienced free-floating shame and anxiety.
12. I used sex as a tool for manipulation or to patch disagreements.
13. I focused totally on the sex addict
to avoid my own pain.
14. I became numbed to my own sexual needs and wants.
15. I accepted the sexual addict's needs as my own.
16. I made excuses not to be sexual with the addict.
17. I became "hyper" sexual for the addict.
18. I felt sex was the most important sign of love.
19. I took responsibility for the addict's behavior and the consequences of these behaviors.
20. I kept secrets to protect the addict.
21. I kept overly busy and overextended.
22. I rarely felt intimate during sex.
23. I lied to cover up for the addict.
24. I went on emotional binges.
25. I became increasingly self righteous and punitive.
26. I became overextended financially.
27. I totally denied the problems.
28. I tried to create dependency situations where I was indispensable.
29. I always had a crisis or problem upon which to focus.
30. I made threats to leave, but I never followed through.
31. I gave up life goals, hobbies, and interests.
32. I changed my dress or appearance to accommodate the addict's wishes.
33. I believed that I could eventually change the addict.
34. I played martyr, hero, or victim roles.
35. My life became increasingly unmanageable.
36. I acted against my own morals, values, and beliefs.
37. My emotions were out of control.
38. I denied my intuition.
39. I joined the addict to present a united front to the world.
40. I felt more and more unworthy as a person.
Author: Dr. Patrick Carnes, Ph. D